How NOT To Approach Women

Debunking 4 Pick-Up Myths

If you ever find yourself saying “there just aren’t enough good single women out there,” you’re making excuses. Sexy, smart, and available women do exist. They live, work, dine, shop, and workout right in your neighborhood (unless you live in a really small town, and then you should consider moving). Beautiful and single women are all around you, and surprisingly enough, some of the hottest women are the ones that get asked out the least.

A lot of men will avoid approaching an attractive woman because they figure she’s out of their league. But how often do you see a smokin’ hot woman on the arm of a dude who just doesn’t seem at her caliber? The reality is that women don’t prioritize looks like men do. Women are attracted to status, financial worth, and confidence, not because we’re superficial, but because we are hardwired to desire a man with good genes who can take care of us and our future children.

The point is that there are no women too attractive for you to at least approach. You never know; you may be just what she’s looking for. There is no excuse for not meeting good women to fuck, date, or even marry. The key is to make yourself available in locations women frequent and to avoid these typical pick-up pitfalls:

Myth 1: Seduce her.

Whenever you initiate first contact with a woman you are interested in pursuing, try to see beyond the image of you fucking her doggie style while she screams your name. When you come at her with that much sexual energy, she can feel it. And she usually finds it threatening.

Instead: Approach her as if you’re starting a conversation with an interesting person. Try to get sex off your brain and just be curious about her.

Myth 2: Use a pick-up line.

Sometimes a clever pick-up line can be endearing, if you’re clearly not taking it seriously and it’s kind of funny. But chances are you will end up looking like a dork or worse, a creep. My advice is to ditch the script and keep it real.

Instead: Choose a simpler approach. Ask her a question or make an observation, and follow up with a subtle invite to join you into a longer conversation. For an example, to approach a woman in a coffee shop, say something like: “I see you’re studying anatomy, are you a med student?” Or to a woman walking down the street, “Do you know where I can get a good cup of coffee around here. . .” and if she’s friendly, follow up with: “Can I buy you a cup?”

Myth 3: Straight up ask her out.

Women love men who are strong, but aggressiveness is off-putting. There’s a reason women love foreplay. We need it to feel comfortable and relaxed before we can let you in. The same goes for flirting. Asking a woman out as soon as you meet her makes her think you are attracted to her based solely on her looks. Though this can be flattering, it can also makes her feel devalued.

Instead: Approach her as a friend, and see if you have anything in common. If you do end up liking her personality, and she seems to be into you, then you can ask for her phone number. Of course, if you’re running short on time, you may need to cut to the chase.

Myth 4: Set a date ASAP.

There’s no need to ask a girl on a date right away. If she’s feeling you and the conversation, then the date will happen. All you should do is initiate a conversation. The only asking that needs to happen is for a phone number so you can continue the conversation later.

Instead: Wait at least a day or two to contact her. When you do call or text her, ask her if you can take her out for coffee/drinks/dinner sometime.

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