My 8 New Year’s Resolutions For You In 2018

  1. Stop Apologizing

For being male, for offenses you didn’t commit (ie flirting is not rape), because you were born a certain way such as white, privileged, straight, or American.

2. Get In Shape

A fit body increases your attractiveness, which improves life in almost every way, and exercise is pretty much a panacea. Reduce your portion sizes, do olympic lifting three to five times per week with a weight that makes you fail by eight reps, do HIIT (high intensity interval training) two to three times a week, and keep all meals within a 12 hour window.

3. Read More Books

The news is depressing and biased, too much screen time is disruptive to your sleep, and the internet is a minefield of distractions that weakens your ability to focus and worse, can lead you down a rabbit hole of stupidity, darkness, or grossness, or all of the above. Don’t spend all your time watching stuff either. Great movies are few and far between, and TV shows are having their moment, but they’re rarely as rich and complex as good literature. Start with the greatest books of all time, and try one of those old-fashioned books on paper thingys- trust me, it’s a revelation.

4. Change Your Passwords

Last week all my mail was stolen right out of my mailbox, and it was a total wake-up call. I started to research ways to beef up my security, and I realized it’s almost impossible to keep all your personal information private. There were several huge hacks this year alone, and they’re going to keep happening. I found out that much of my personal info is already on the dark web, and yours probably is too. Still, it’s easier to protect yourself from identity theft than to reverse the damage once it’s happened. Here’s what you need to do now: change all your passwords and start using Dashlane, monitor all your financial accounts on a budgeting platform like Mint, and monitor your credit for free with CreditKarma (for Equifax and Transunion) and (for Experian). If you suspect that you’ve been hacked, put a 90 day fraud alert on your credit report, so that thieves can’t open accounts in your name. In fact, do it preemptively and keep renewing it. It’s free to do, and you can lift the alert as needed.

5. Get Off Social Media

Social Media is a time suck that will inevitably make you feel worse about your life and is essentially an online pageant show for women to compete against each other. Want to know what your friends are up to? Give them a call. Ok fine, a text.

6. Invest In An Accountant

I’m not trying to make a political statement, but Trump’s claim that this new tax bill will simplify our tax returns is laughable. You will never be able to do your taxes as well as an expert, and do you really want to pay a penny more than you have to the government? Hire the best accountant you can afford.

7. Purge Your Closet

Throw away or donate anything that doesn’t fit, is obviously outdated, is worn out, or has a stupid saying on it. Better yet, toss anything with words on it if you’re over 18. You may need to purge almost your entire closet, so be prepared to invest in a new and improved wardrobe. Then refer to the style section of my blog to figure out what you should actually be wearing.

8. Start Really Taking Care Of Your Skin

You’ve probably heard that you need to wash your face and moisturize, but let this be the year you take your skincare to the next level. In order to improve your skin tone and prevent aging, you’ll need some heavy hitters. A grown up skincare routine designed to make you look less grown up includes these essentials: a retinoid, vitamin c, an acid, an antioxidant, a hydrator, and sun protection.


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