The Bachelor Pad That Gets You Laid

As a bachelor, a majority of your time, money, and effort will be spent towards one goal: getting a girl to come home with you. You will climb the ladder at work, pump iron at the gym, don tight-fitting jeans, put gel in your hair, and sling cleverly crafted pick-up lines all in the hopes of wooing a hot girl to your bedroom.

But then you get the girl there, and she gets a whiff of your dirty laundry, steals a glance at your dingy sheets, and trips on your stash of unused sporting equipment while heading to the bathroom where she has to hold her pee because there’s no toilet paper. She returns to the bedroom clutching her purse and coat and says something about a friend emergency.

It doesn’t matter how successful, fit, and charming you are, a messy bachelor pad will always turn off a woman. And if it doesn’t, it’s because she has calculated that you are worth the gag-reflex, and she can wait it out until she gets the chance to completely overhaul your place and set some rules for decent living.

So why not increase your odds of success and create a bachelor pad that attracts women instead of repelling them? Your home is the final base where home runs can happen, so play the game right by girl-proofing your pad so the ladies will want to keep coming back. Here’s how to do it:

So Fresh, So Clean

Hire a maid. Even if you’re anal, you’re probably not giving your place the regular deep-cleaning it needs. So tidy up as you go, but have a maid come at least twice a month. If you do nothing else for your place, do this.

For maintenance, you should wash the dishes daily, sweep as needed, change your sheets about every 3-5 days (or after every new sleepover), and do your laundry weekly so your place doesn’t smell like B.O. You can also get disinfecting wipes to quickly clean counters, toilets, and sinks every few days.

Everything In Its Right Place

Get organized. There are perfectly sized trays, bins, boxes, hangers, and shelves for all the stuff you own, and you can find them at stores like Ikea, Target, The Container Store, and Bed, Bath & Beyond. Buy them all in one color for a uniform look, and put your loose crap in them to eliminate clutter and make your place feel more zen.

If that seems too tedious and you have the money, there are plenty of home organizing companies out there. Or ask a female friend to help- women love organizing shit.

Express Yourself

Now here’s the fun part. Sexify your bachelor pad with some well-appointed decor. No, decor is just not for girls and gays. A home can be well-appointed and still maintain a masculine aesthetic, and that’s what you should be going for.

If you have the budget for it, hire an interior designer. It’s not just a worthy investment to increase your game, but it will improve your quality of life. If you prefer to go your own way, start with a high quality sofa, bed, and bedding in a color scheme that fits your personality.


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