How To Buy Jeans That Make Your Ass Look Hot
If you’re an ass man, you’re not alone. Women love butts just as much as men do, and the right pair of jeans can really highlight your best ass…et (sorry, couldn’t resist, that’s what she said). These days it seems like there is an overwhelming amount of choice when shopping for denim, but not every option is going to be flattering. So let me break it down for you.
Straight fit denim sits at the waist, fitted along the hips and thighs, straight leg opening. This is the best cut for men that are a little too stocky to wear slim jeans.
Slim fit denim is the sweet spot for most guys. It’s current, flattering, and gives that tailored look that makes you look polished and proportionate.
Bootcut denim sits lower on the waist, relaxed through hip and thigh, slightly larger leg opening than a straight leg. This fit is not particularly current, but if you’re a guy with thick soccer legs or you like wearing cowboy boots, then you might want to try this cut instead of the straight. You could also have these tailored so the leg is a little slimmer, but not quite as tight as the straight leg.
Relaxed jeans fit like the baggy denim boys wore in the 90s when it was cool to sag your jeans below your underwear. Women hated them then, and they still do now. Today most brands will cut their relaxed jeans on the slimmer side, so you’re not swimming in them, but there is still plenty of room for your junk to breathe. If you’re a big guy all around, you may want to get these and tailor them down to fit you perfectly.
Not many men can pull off skinny jeans, and that’s fine with us. Skinny jeans are for women, hipsters with flat butts, and rock stars, and only that latter is attractive to most straight women.
Stock your closet with the basics: a light wash, a medium wash, and a dark wash. A light wash is great for summer, a medium wash is a year round classic, and a dark wash can be dressed up for work or a date.
Selvedge jeans are thick, high-quality denim made with old fashioned weaving techniques, and they’re typically sold raw.
Raw denim just means it’s never been washed. You’re meant to wear the jeans for like six months straight without washing to break them in. They feel as stiff as cardboard at first, and unbearably tight, but eventually becomes the sickest pair of jeans you’ve ever had with a unique wash and fit that perfectly conforms to your sweet ass. Keep in mind they will stretch up to two sizes, so buy them tight! Patience required.
Distressed or “washed” denim has been be pre-washed and then beaten up a bit so you can have that worn in look from the start with no uncomfortable breaking in process like with raw denim.
Dyed denim is essentially colored denim. This is great for work, going out, or when you just want something different than the same old blue wash.