If you want to be great in bed, not only do you need the skills, but you need the tools. A well-stocked sex drawer is like a handyman’s tool box. A good handyman can whip out a drill in a moment’s notice and nail a screw in with precision, or whatever it is that handymen do. Men with tools are hot, and having the right toolbox means you are ready for any sexual scenario that may land in your bed. Whether your bedroom has a revolving door or you’re hosting a regular, you need to be prepared. There are some tools that are essential and others that are optional but powerful in the right hands. Here’s a breakdown:
The Essential Tool Set
Condoms: You know you need them, but you may be overthinking them. For women, less is more with condoms. We don’t need any fun features, flashy colors, or fancy textures. Your condom doesn’t need to be ribbed, studded, lubed, or grooved. We don’t care if it’s glow-in-the-dark, super-magnum, luxurious lambskin, or even glittery unicornskin. It just needs to be functional, fitted, and perhaps latex-free for the unlikely chance a woman has a latex allergy. Also, make sure it’s not expired.
Lube: There’s always a place for a little lubricant in your sexual arsenal. Here are the places to be exact: the tips of your fingers before stimulating your woman, the outside of your condom before penetration, on any body part or toy participating in anal sex, and in your hands during your best solo work.
There are a few types of lubricants you’ll definitely want to have on hand and some others just for fun. Most lubricants have sample packs, so keep several different types handy so you can cater to the preferences of your woman of the moment. For a detailed breakdown of all your lube options, read my lube guide.
Fresh Wipes: These are the adult versions of baby wipes. Keep a box in your bathroom for pooping, and keep another box in your sex drawer for post-coital cleanup.
Tissues: In addition to the fresh wipes, keep a box of tissues by your bed to wipe your mouth after oral sex. No kissing before you do that, gross.
The Enhanced Tool Set
Altoids: Not only do they prep the breath for kissing, they are like Pop Rocks with soda: extra fun for everyone. Pop one in your mouth before oral sex and watch her squirm.
Music: Have some sexy playlists ready to go on your phone with bluetooth speakers armed and ready. When it’s go time, you don’t want to kill the mood fumbling around with technology. Also, avoid using a streaming service with ads: nothing like a Viagra commercial to make you need a Viagra.
Massage Oil: There is no better foreplay to foreplay than a sensual massage. To deliver one, you will need some massage lotion or oil. Lotion is the least messy and also the most skin-friendly option, but oil has that sexy slickness. Here are your options:
- Scent-free lotion- not messy and hypoallergenic
- Scented lotion- try warm and sumptuous scents like vanilla, sandalwood, or ylang ylang.
- Natural body oil like jojoba oil, coconut oil, or marula oil.
- Oils specifically designed for massage therapy like sweet almond oil.
Tip 1- Coconut oil makes a tasty lickable option.
Tip 2- To really heat things up, try a massage oil candle.
Tip 3- Massage oil is not lube. Never put massage oil on a woman’s delicates or your condom.
Candles: Before you begin that sensual massage, you will want to set the mood. There is no better way to transform an ordinary bedroom into a room that ladies want to get naked in than with the ambience of candles. The flicker of the flame in a dim lit room is flattering on the body, and the aroma is an aphrodisiac (if you pick the right scents). These are the scents that go with sex: ylang ylang, sandalwood, amber, vanilla, tobacco, chocolate, and other flavors that smell warm, spicy, masculine, and edible. Put one on the nightstand and one in the bathroom. In a pinch, you can spray your bathroom with a couple of spritzes of your sexiest cologne.
The Pro Tool Set
Sex Games: There are a number of sexy board games, card games, or better yet, games you make up in the moment with just a bit of creativity and alcohol, that can help break the ice. Not feeling creative? No worries, a quick and dirty game of Truth or Dare will get the job done.
Erotic Literature: Many women need to be stimulated mentally before they can be penetrated comfortably. Reading her sexy literature will definitely get the juices flowing in her brain and down below. Try a compilation of erotic short stories like this one.
Porn: This is not the time to search for something new, niche, or kinky online. Do that in your own time (and don’t forget to delete the history). For your lady guests, have some classic and reliably sexy films on standby in case your woman is so inclined. Here’s a few suggestions: Behind the Green Door, 9 Songs, and for some silly but sexy fun, try Debbie Does Dallas.
The Adventurer Tool Set
The adventurer tools are for those rare and specialized jobs where a hammer and nail just won’t do. You may never get to use these tools, and they are certainly not necessary. They are just some fun toys you may want to keep hidden towards the back of your drawer just in case.
Bondage: I’m not talking S&M, more like bondage-lite. Get a satin blindfold, and some silk handcuffs, and gently tie your woman’s wrists to the bedpost. Then tease her mercilessly. Great tools for teasing a woman include a feather, a whip (be gentle unless she really asks for it), and your tongue.
Vibrator: As far as vibrators go, it’s likely your woman’s got that covered, and she doesn’t want to talk about it either. The relationship between a woman and her vibrator is private, at least until she’s ready to bring that into the bedroom with you. In the meantime, there is one vibrator you might want to keep around, and it’s called the Magic Wand. It looks like a massager not a dildo, which makes it one of the few vibrators a man can have in his tool set and not seem like a creep. Oh yeah, and it feels like magic. Start using it as a massager all over her body so she warms up to it.
Anal Toys: Anal plugs are a super-adventurous tool, and most women won’t go for it- maybe ever. Well, she may be down for it if it’s in your tush and not hers.
Cock Rings: Cock rings are also more out there, and more for the guy than the girl. They bind the penis and testicles (ouch?) to increase blood flow to your erection. If you have an already sturdy erection, this seems unnecessary. But if you struggle in this area, then a cock ring may be a handy tool. There are even vibrating cock rings that supposedly stimulate the woman’s clitoris while boosting your erection, though this may be like a shampoo and conditioner in one -men love the efficiency, and women want nothing to do with it.